loveaddictangel:

“Want to become an addict with me?”

It was mostly a joke, but also an offer. I didn’t realize how serious of a statement it was. I had done percs before, they were great. But never have I done heroin. My boyfriend, we’ll call him Gunther, had been doing it here and there. He sold weed and his weed dealer was a dope addict. He’d give him a bump whenever we went to pick up, this time he gave him a bit to take home.

Gunther was being used. He was being slowly introduced into addiction. Now it was his turn to introduce me. I had always been curious. It always looked like he had a good time, why not me too? I was very drunk. I remember doing a tiny bump, barely anything. I don’t remember anything about that night. I do remember I went back for more. 

healthacceptance:

advicefromsurvivors:

Being abused can seriously affect your ability to distinguish between “not obviously pleased” and “obviously displeased” because abusers go from Neutral to Hostile for absolutely no discernible reason, and eventually you start worrying that everyone is going to be like that and you start feeling this urge to make absolutely sure that the people you actually care about aren’t mad or upset, because to you, “there’s no evidence that they’re not angry” is the same as “there’s evidence that they are angry”

Wow. Well this sucks but also explains so much.

(via illogical-bullshit)